Canadian Automobile Association: Helping Aging Drivers
Special Challenges for Families of Older Drivers
What if the person doesn't realize their driving is a problem?
Start by observing their driving skills. Look for danger signs that their ability to drive safely has begun to falter.
Use examples to begin the conversation, and prepare solutions in advance such as driving during daylight and outside of rush hour. Gauge your solutions according to the driver's skill and the actions you feel are appropriate and necessary.
What if the driver has dementia?
Some drivers in the early stages of dementia may have sufficient insight to limit themselves. If not, be wary of their actions, progressive dementia will eventually rob the individual of the skills necessary to drive safely. Before the issue becomes too great for the family to handle alone, collaborate with a doctor to determine the most appropriate next steps.
As often as possible, provide the individual with opportunities to make their own choices. For more information on this topic, contact your local chapter of the Alzheimer Society.
What if they refuse to stop driving?
Suggest scheduling a formal driving assessment with a doctor or occupational therapist to determine the individual's driving ability. Drivers who do not respond to constructive criticism from a family member or friend may be more likely to listen to a doctor or police officer.
How do I broach the subject in a non-accusatory manner?
Even though you may want to help, you may not necessarily be the right person to broach the subject with your older driver. Consult family and friends before approaching the individual about their deteriorating driving skills. Determine who has the most ‘pull' with the individual — not who is the most authoritative. Be empathetic and understanding, use a soft tone and don't raise your voice; don't speak to the individual as if they are a child.
Some non-confrontational ways to broach the subject are:
- discussing their health, ability to sustain injuries in a collision (even if they are not the one at fault) and letting them know how much you care
- empathizing with them — let them know you understand how badly they would feel if they injured someone while driving
- impose your own limitations, let them know you're afraid to have their grandchildren ride with them
- blame their health (perhaps a pre-existing condition), not their driving skill and suggest they see a doctor